She lost two years of her memory, forgetting her own daughter and even asking whether she herself was Chinese. Because I still cant read. When youre in hospital and youre being constantly assessed and measured by how youre limited, what you can no longer do, who you no longer are, its very painful. The turning point came when she began to discover what she calls her core identity: a deep-rooted sense of self that persists even when all external markerscareer, romance, friendshipsare under siege. I see my stroke as a kind of rebirth; unexpected and painful, but also more vivid, filled with purpose, meaning and potential. 17 Oscar-Nominated Netflix Films to Watch in Honor of Awards Season, The Best (and Most Anticipated) Movies of 2023 So Far, The 70 Best Romantic Comedies of All Time. Lotjeis a fighter and she has the good fortune to have access to therapy. I had faltered, and the words were gone Then Iblacked out, consumed by a four-hour convulsive seizure. 894646. I got this phone call from a colleague of Lotjes who had been in that meeting. Now, after the success of My Beautiful Broken Brain, they see the value of story-telling for brain-injured people. My Beautiful Broken Brainis an intensely personal story of a 34 year old woman, Lotje Sodderland, who documented through film her 1-year journey of recovery from hemorrhagic stroke, which resulted in Aphasia. Lotje is asked to read words from a screen while the TMS is stimulating regions of her brain throughher skull in the hope that the brain would be able to find new pathways between her visual and language areas. He knows putting his name on it would help us in terms of getting the film recognized. This together with various sequences showing the world from her point-of-view at that time, including for example visual misperceptions (hallucinations), produce a rather personal storytelling style.[3][4][5]. The comfort of unconsciousness threatened to pull me under, but instead I took my handbag and walked out of the door. There was a man wheeling me around and I spoke to him - but it didn't seem like he could hear what I was saying. Things change constantly for everybody. When a sudden illness robbed Mrs Tan of her communication abilities, find out how she and her husband sourced for creative ways to recover while continue to enjoy the sweet moments of married life together. Sodderland is lucky to be alive, having suffered a massive stroke which left her unable to speak, read, write and perform even simple tasks. Nothing made any sense, everything was beautiful but it was frightening, it was backward, there was no kind of linear logic to it. At the same time, Ive learned to look at the world in a really different way. Lotje Sodderland explores beauty and positivity after a traumatic health scare At age 34, film director Lotje Sodderland was struck by an intracerebral haemorrhagic stroke after a night out with her friends. I woke to hear a voice debating the benefits andpitfalls of dipping a ginger nut biscuit in tea,and knew I must be in hospital again. Tom Hanks is your guy. Thisheartfelt documentary is an honest portrayal of the process of re-learning to live with a broken brain, ofhuman fragility and vulnerability, of persisting in the difficult journey of recovery through series of setbacks and bad news, of dealing with uncertainty of whether things will ever get better orwhether, instead, they will get worse, of realizing that there are many questions that have no definitive answers or clear explanations. At some point I was able to communicate with my brother that I really needed to get in touch with this woman. I knew who I was, and I recognised my mother and brother -but I didnt know anything else. I was suddenly in a different world to the one I had inhabited before. I figured out the video function on my iPhone, and began to record my new life. As Tom chops the kindling while I write this, I feel so very fortunate to be here in the sumptuous stillness, with the singing of tawny owls in the evening. My discharge date arrived in early April, but though Iwas out of hospital, my mind was stuck on my limitations. Add or change photo on IMDbPro Add to list More at IMDbPro Contact info Agent info Awards 1 win & 6 nominations Known for My Beautiful Broken Brain 7.1 Director 2014 Limbo Short Director 2021 Can You Rebuild My Brain? Filming what was happening to me was fundamental to my recovery. So it was sad. It was a dreary Sunday in November 2011. Currently working with Film4, Lotje is in development on her first feature. Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, SE1 9GF. I couldn't speak at first, or read, and my thoughts were not linear or logical. Brechas Urbanas Sao Paolo. She woke up in her east London flat with a blinding headache and in a state of frightening confusion. It may sound simple, but it made a huge difference to me. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. Sodderland still struggles to read and write and has had to accept the differences in her new life. She helped me figure out the navigation system on my iPhone, which meant Iwould be able to walk around without getting lost. Davids always been a massive supporter of the film. He is a beautiful superhero/material engineer, who left London torestore a sawmill in Cornwalls ancient forestland, where Inow spend much of my time. After a lack of response from his wifes friends, Mr Tan reached out to his buddies to drop by their place for a visit or send encouraging texts from time to time. Here she meets scientists using technology to repair "broken" brains. She is able to understand others and, for the most part, she can speak but she is often unable to find the right words, although they are often on the tip of her tongue. That says a lot about the hype over this comic book adaptation, which revels in the villains rather than the heroes for once and sees Jared Leto step into Heath Ledger's size 58 boots as the new Joker, Friendly-looking dad named Chesley Sullenberger who saves a plane load of people? He said, Do you remember me? I didnt even know what assessment meant, or what I was being assessed for. 7.5 TV Movie I struggled to find the logic in a toothbrush, or the system that goes with the washing of hair, even though I knew (without really understanding) that these behaviours were a necessary part of human life. From Me to You: Kimi ni Todoke. But I felt anxious about leaving. One night, Lotje goes out to watch fireworks in London, her hometown, and at the end of the evening, she goes home and . I looked at my phone and I didnt know how it worked and I couldnt tell the time or anything, she says. Making a cup of tea was an unfathomable assault course, requiring cognitive skills she couldn't comprehend. I regained my speaking skills and used the film making process as a central tool to figure out who I was through images and sounds. This year, I fell in love, a terrifying prospect when operating a new brain. Videos She made it her mission afterwards to understand . Shed had a brain hemorrhage, the result she would eventually find out, of a vascular abnormality that developed before birth. In the beginning, when I wanted to do a film, my family thought it was really weird, but they still supported me. Though the film showed mostly positive scenes, there were many difficult moments that were not captured, such as my mental health struggles which are an invisible part of recovery. It is run by a team of dedicated speech therapist volunteers. But I used diagrams and drawings and eventually he understood. Before my stroke, Isaw him, his wife and daughters most weeks. But also I used it just on a practical level, to remember things, like meetings with doctors, and to communicate with friends, because I couldnt read or write. She realizes that she needs to come into terms with her new reality, focus on the essential and on the new things she has discovered. She started taking video-selfies of herself while still in hospital, and two weeks later contacted documentary filmmaker Sophie Robinson to enlist her help. My Beautiful Broken Brain is an intensely personal story of a 34 year old woman, Lotje Sodderland, who documented through film her 1-year journey of recovery from hemorrhagic stroke, which resulted in Aphasia. Lotje Sodderland is on Facebook. Even doing supposedly normal tasks like making a cup of tea or using a cash machine just seemed to have no coherent structure, or logic, for me. After that I just became really interested in his films. Later on, I learned the stroke was caused by a rare development of malformed blood vessels in my brain. The surgeon called it a bleed; some doctors call it a haemorrhagic stroke. 'My Beautiful Broken Brain' is released on Netflix tomorrow. "He knows about the non-linear narratives and the subtle relationship between the mundane and the surreal." Now she needs to take medication and deal with the side effects. I think its quite unusual to survive if you're by yourself and have a brain haemorrhage -as it's almost impossible to have the ability to figure out what to do. It didnt really make that much sense: It was all in capitals, and there were no full stops. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. Iasked a friend if he thought I was a changed woman. Starring: Sophie Robinson, Lotje Sodderland Watch all you want. I enjoy our talks so much more these days. So it was worth it? At the start, my listening, speaking and understanding skills were not good. Lotje improves, she can now speak fairly fluently. There was a chance, Iwas told, that I would be cleverer, faster, altogether better, than I had been pre-stroke. But mostly My Beautiful Broken Brain is about Sodderlands inner journey from confusion, trauma, and sometimes despair to remarkably sunny acceptance of her new life and her new mind. Before the stroke, I think my friends found my cynical sense ofhumour entertaining. Someone told me that the quietest place in London was the Bethnal Green Buddhist Centre. Starring Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett and Natalie Portman, it sees a man return home from New York and get sucked into the hollow hedonism of LA, fighting to extricate himself from it, Based on journalist Kim Barkers 2011 memoir The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan, this dark comedy sees Tina Fey play a foreign correspondent reporting in the Middle East during Operation Enduring Freedom, where she develops a weird relationship with a fellow journalist played by Martin Freeman, The wind seems to have gone out of the sails of the Man of Steel series in spite of the addition of a new Batman, and there's a more palpable anticipation for Suicide Squad (which arrives later in the year), Coming off the back of multi-Oscar winner Boyhood, this Richard Linklater film looks a lot like Dazed and Confused if it was set in the 80s, albeit pitched more towards comedy, Disney is trampling on its own hallowed ground with this live action remake. But sarcasm is a complex linguistic process, so I have lost it to some extent. My brother describes the old me as extremely dynamic, extremely social, very impassioned. Through them, I found an opportunity to become a better version of myself by focusing on kindness and being less absorbed in myself. Read on for more from my conversation with the filmmakers, about their collaboration, how they got David Lynch on board, and what Sodderlands life looks like these days. Two months after the stroke, my brother took me to a nearby hospital to be assessed for eligibility. I really enjoy words, and I always loved writing. Haveyou seen The Exorcist? he said. Registered in England No. At first, my writing looked like a childs. I was looking at my clothes and I knew that I needed them, but I didnt quite know how they worked.. Lotje Sodderland makes candid, vulnerable films laced with pathos and humour. 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